Such experiences come in all shades and varieties. Why did they both stand there laughing, eating so slowly and showing so little concern about the child’s obvious distress? They were not unkind or cold parents, but at this moment, they displayed a lack of empathy. What an unfair situation when the child was opposed by two strong adults. And even worse, the parents made fun of his wish. It was the wish to hold the ice cream stick in his hand that was not understood. It seemed clear that this little boy was not being frustrated in his oral wishes, for he was given an opportunity for a bite. He walked on in a deep sob of loneliness and disappointment. It made them laugh and they hoped to humour him along with their laughter too. The more the child cried, the more it amused his parents. Time and time again he held out his hand, and the treasure was withdrawn again. He cried in despair, came back, and gazed enviously at the two grown-ups. The child didn’t want a bite and held out his hand for the whole bar instead, which his mother took out of reach. The little boy wanted one too, so his mother offered him a bit of her ice cream. The couple had just bought themselves ice cream bars on sticks from the kiosk, and they were licking them with evident enjoyment. A child can only experience their feelings when there is somebody who accepts, understands, and supports them fully.Ī young couple was walking in the city with a little boy about two years old, who was running along and whining. These people have developed the art of not experiencing feelings. The consequence of this circumstance is the inability for these people to consciously experience certain feelings of their own. Especially when the child’s needs for respect, echoing, understanding, sympathy, and mirroring aren’t fulfilled. The cause of an emotional disturbance is usually found in an infant’s early adaption. The most efficacious object for substitute gratification is a parent’s own children. Parents who did not experience this climate as children themselves deprived will continue to search for what their own parents could not give them throughout their lives.Īs long as they ignore their repressed life history, a person with this unsatisfied and unconscious need will nevertheless be compelled to attempt its gratification through substitute means. SCENARIO 2 – Your parents didn’t reach individuation and autonomy To allow their child to experience healthy development, the parents ought to have grown up in a similar environment. In an atmosphere of respect and tolerance for her feelings, a child will be able to give up symbiosis with the mother in the phase of separation and accomplish the steps toward individuation and autonomy. What are the reasons for such disturbances in these competent and accomplished people? SCENARIO 1 – Individuation and autonomy Whenever they get the feeling they haven’t lived up to their ideal image, they are plagued with anxiety or deep feelings of guilt and shame. These dark feelings will come to the fore as soon as the drug of grandiosity fails. But behind their success, depression lurks. They are successful whenever they care to be. They do well, even excellently in everything they undertake. According to prevailing attitudes, these people -the pride of the parents -should’ve had a strong and stable sense of self-assurance.īut the case is the opposite. Therapists often face people who were praised and admired for their talents and achievements in their childhood. There are large numbers of people who enter therapy with the belief that their childhood was happy and protected. We may remain trapped in the world of adolescence, never progressing to adulthood. If we choose to content ourselves with intellectual wisdom instead of emotional understanding, we will remain in the sphere of illusion and self-deception. A truth that may cause pain before giving us a new sphere of freedom. But to become whole, we must try to discover our own personal truth. Perhaps because the truth often seems unbearable to us. History demonstrates that life is full of illusions sneaking in everywhere. Most people continue to live in their repressed childhood situation, fearing and avoiding dangers that haven’t been real for a long time. We can gain our lost integrity by looking more closely at the knowledge inside our bodies and bringing them closer to our awareness. We can’t change our past, but we can change ourselves. The Drama of the Gifted Child explains how the damages that took place in our childhood impact our future.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |